16 Oct 6 Bad Options if you don’t know how to negotiate
If you don’t know how to negotiate there are six options open to you. Here they are in order from worst to bad.
Option 1 – Command
When I impose my will I think that I am negotiating. Sometimes will-power works but there is a cost. You lose trust in me.
Option 2 – Give in
Pester or nag me enough and I may just give in. But this is just the flip side of bullying. It’s really hard to have an open and authentic relationship with someone who treats me like this.
Option 3 – Postpone
This is a variation on give up. Maybe try to get what you want at another time or ask someone else. This is my tactic when my daughter wants to go to a Festival. However I usually move to ‘give in’ fairly soon after.
Option 4 – Problem solve
This is my favorite. Use a bit of lateral thinking. However my idea of ‘the problem’ is often not yours. So my cool solution looks ridiculous to you.
Option 5 – Persuade
Ok now at least I am having a conversation but how often have I tried to persuade someone and they just said No? What do I do then? Usually go back to Option 2.
Option 6 – Get a mediator
Probably better than bullying and giving up but I have lost control of the conversation and am at the mercy of the mediator’s opinion of what is right and fair. Plus it may cost me money and time.
So it’s interesting that none of these are actually negotiation and I have been talking to lots of my colleagues and most of them (like me) have never been formally trained. That’s strange when it’s something we need to do every day. If you want to find out what negotiation actually is this is a good link that I found. My next step? I’ve organised and booked myself on a negotiation course. It’s expensive and intensive but one thing I know is that when I look forward all I see is how much something is going to cost. But afterwards I only remember the experience and the value.
Bill Aronson is a thought leader who helps organisations to be authentic. He does this by telling businesses the truth (in the nicest possible way). Then he helps them build systems and processes to achieve an authentic culture. firstname.lastname@example.org +61 (0)400 27 4548