28 May Get A Life
Do you have a life that is overcrowded?
Do you truly understand what the work/life balance phenomenon is all about?
Do you feel inspired and motivated by the life you are leading?
Aren’t these all relevant questions to ask ourselves. We certainly could ask many more, I think we are getting the theme of what this blog is about.
I certainly have never been busier in my life than the last year. I guess upon reflection I say that every year. So how come that happens? For me, I am an extrovert. So with that often comes the notion that life is for living, exploring, enjoying and I certainly don’t want to miss out on the great opportunities that come every day, week, month and year.
So what is your life like? Are you so busy and entrenched in the overbalancing act that you have forgotten the little things. Like marveling at the simple things in life? The smile on your child’s face when you walk through the door from a very busy day too tired to talk? The longing look on your partner’s face to capture a precious moment with you when you are busy with something else.
Yes at times we all don’t notice our child’s face or our partners longing look!!!
Well done for reading this blog, it will get you thinking about the overbalance rather than the in-balance in your life. Keep reflecting as you read on!
In thinking about over balance, the person that comes to mind is my late father. He was an inspiration to me. He was a hard working business man who started Alpha Electrics with his brother in Burnie Tasmania.
They as two young men had a dream, believed in the skills they had and went for it. They were electric motor rewinders. As children our families worked together to put the sweat and tears into helping build the workshop and it became a thriving family business. Dad was a success. Not only was he a success he was a well respected man in the community. He was an inspiration to many others for his achievements.
He loved to play a round of golf every now and again and some Friday nights we could be found at the Burnie Golf Club and our treat was a glass of lemonade and a packed of bbq chips, life was great.
Dad was viewed by many as a hard worker, but he may well be considered a workaholic if he were alive today. Looking back he certainly was! He worked long hours and sometimes 7 days a week to meet the demands of the business. There were many times where we would not see him for a few days at a time, but took it in our stride.
Sadly he died young, at 42. He had a huge funeral. People came from far and wide to celebrate a man that was going to be sadly missed.
So what was it all for! I am sure you know of someone who was also hard working, doing the best for their family, and passed away well before their time. I am sure we have at one time or another said to ourselves, so what was it all for? Great question?
What ever your life means to you, maybe it’s a good time coming up to mid year to do a review…..
1. Feeling flustered and overwhelmed with all the things on your plate. This could be both at work juggling all the tasks and things you need to complete, deadlines, the amount of emails that come across your desk every day, other work demands. You may feel with the additional things like children, grandchildren, sporting commitments, partner commitments at times it is all too much to cram into one day.
2. Feeling too busy or not busy enough. Life for some people has no purpose or meaning as they are going too slow…
3. Feeling negative thoughts, emotions and feelings. Feeling negative towards other people for no real reason at all. Communicating inappropriately, being overly snappy. Frustration at the driver in front of you on the road that is going too slow, does not indicate etc. Not hanging around with positive and inspiring people.
4. Not sleeping properly. Not getting enough hours sleep for what you know your health and body needs.
5. No real exercise to speak of. Falling off the exercise wagon and frustrated with yourself for doing so.
6. Overcommiting to things. Agreeing to things for people and not giving enough time for other things.
7. FUN – Fun – Fun. No fun to speak of, not a lot of laughing, I mean a good belly laugh – yes we all need a good laugh often to remain healthy.
These are all indicators that your life is overbalanced. It can be very difficult at times to even find the time to start tacking some of these things. It is only when there is a crisis or something else happens that we are forced to take stock and do something proactive.
LONG TERM EFFECTS OF OVERBALANCE
We all know what these are. Where do I start!
Other mental health issues
The longer you live with these the longer they will take to fix entirely.
SO WHAT DO I DO
Everyone knows themselves what to do, so is it time to make some change. Well with any change comes the small steps and then the larger steps come.
With any change the first thing that needs to occur is recognising there is a discrepancy with what is happening in your life and where you really want to be. Acknowledgement that something needs to be different. The pain of staying where you are is greater than the change you need to make. So the question is…. is there a discrepancy that you can see in your life?
Will I, won’t I. I would like to … but…. Have you ever heard yourself saying those things. I certainly have. Thank goodness I usually overcome the ambivalence because the change is needed. What ambivalence do you have right now? Will you, won’t you……
Being committed to what you would like to achieve is part of the challenge really. Stickability, resilience and determination are all things that are about being committed to what you want to change, what you want to achieve.. You will need to have the right mix of motivation so that your change is lasting. How important is it for you to make the changes you would like to. Take the chance, you will start to lessen the overwhelm, the sick feeling in the stomach, a small step is all you need to take, be committed.
4. It’s a Journey
Small steps lead to bigger things, small goals lead to big achievements. Take your time. When you think of seeing changes think of 12 week blocks of time. Review your achievements in 12 week timeframes. It works, really does! Congratulate yourself in some way. Then off you go again!
5. Self Talk
What is your self talk like? What are your thoughts like – could they be more positive. We tend to think negative thoughts when we are overbalanced. Pull yourself up when you hear negative self talk. Treat yourself with respect – think and talk positively. When you think positively, you will start to feel more positive and you are more likely to behave and act positively towards yourself and others. Retraining your thoughts is a gift to yourself. A real life gift.
6. Think about what in-balance means for you
Overbalance and in-balance means something different to each and every one of us. When you decide what this means for you will you then be able to take slightly bigger steps towards in-balance. Visualise what you would like things to look like. Mantra’s really work. At a particular point in your day, stand in the fresh air and say out aloud what you are grateful for. Really works after a while.
Take action, don’t let another day go by before you put some of the things we are talking about into place. Procrastination is a killer! Being immobile and not taking action today no matter how small will not get you to the place you want to be.
If you believe you are not reliable and accountable to yourself, then get someone else to do that for you. Someone to give you a call or follow up on a regular basis. Accountability crushes procrastination – yippee you are on your way. Embrace your accountable person, they are not there to bug you, they are there to support you and keep you on track, remember small steps lead to bigger ones, they will come.
How about put together your own list to follow. What would you include? What are you going to choose first? Pick up your own discrepancies and think about the actions to take.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TODAY?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY?
WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OFF AND WHY?
I look forward to your feedback